people are involved at every stage of the planning. Some of these may not even
be acquainted and it is possible that friction may arise. Wedding etiquette
helps to smooth over these difficulties by defining the roles of each person
before and on the day of the wedding. Fortunately for parents blessed with
daughters, the modern trend is for the families of the bride and groom to share
the expenses involved in a wedding, so that the bride's parents are not
lumbered with the full amount. The following outlines the usual payment
arrangements, but do keep in mind that families need to be flexible.
Suggestions of accounts payable by whom:
- Brides Parents
Wedding announcements in the press
Invitations and stationery
Photographer & videographer
Brides and bridesmaids clothing & accessories
Flowers for the church and reception
Transport for the bride to the church
The reception excluding drinks, barmen and related expenses
The wedding cake
Own outfits - The Bride
Wedding ring for the groom
Hairdresser, cosmetician and manicurist
Going away outfit
Gift to bridegroom
Gifts to those who helped with the wedding preparations - The Groom
Bride's engagement and wedding ring
Legal expenses: anti-nuptial agreement etc
Expenses of the ceremony: marriage officers fee, organist, choir, soloist, tips, etc
The bride and bridesmaid's bouquets
Buttonholes and corsages for the wedding party
Groom and best man's outfit
Gifts for bridesmaids, best man (and younger attendants)
Gift to the bride
Stag party
Transport for himself and the bride from the church to the reception
Drinks at the reception and related expenses (barmen, hiring of glasses etc)
Accommodation on the wedding night & the honeymoon - Attendants
Best man and/or ushers host the bachelor party
Maid of Honour and/or bridesmaids host a bridal shower and/or girls night out
Best man and/or ushers should pay for the rental of their formalwear
Maid of Honour and/or bridesmaids should pay their dresses & accessories - Options to Share
Bride or grooms family may offer heirloom rings
Bride or her family may pay for bridesmaids dresses & accessories
Groom or his family may pay for attendants rentals
Bouquets may be purchased by the brides family
Couple may cover all ceremony costs
One family may pay for photography, the other for videography. The grooms parents or the couple may pay for any extra prints
Grooms family may offer to share reception costs or cover specific services (liquor, musicians etc)
Split the wedding costs equally among the wedding couple and both sets of parents
Contributing families pledge whatever amount they would like/are able to contribute.
The couple can then work within this budget, or cover additional expenses
themselves
The other thing to be aware of:
Traditionally, the bride's family is considered the "hosts" of the wedding
reception, and the groom's family hosts the rehearsal dinner. If you are
breaking from this tradition, you may need to adjust accordingly, such as
including the groom's parents names on the invitation if they are contributing
significantly to the ceremony or reception costs.
Also, often when people are helping to pay for the party, they want to have
more influence over the planning. You must decide how much of your autonomy you
are willing to give up if the people financing your wedding are trying to take
it in a different direction than what you want.
You may need to have very clear conversations with all involved about what you
want, and where you are willing to compromise. If it comes down to receiving
the money only with strings attached, you may want to consider paring your
plans down to an event you can afford without their help.
