Which items of stationery are which and what do I actually need?

The Elements	Do I Need It?	Tips
Save-The-Date Card	Particularly important if you are marrying at a busy time of the year (like a public holiday) or if you have guests travelling.	Consider making the card a magnet so your guests can stick it on the refrigerator. Or you could do an e-mail version.
Invitation	Yes – Even for an informal wedding.	Ensure your invitation can fit a standard sized envelope if it doesn’t come with one.
Reply Card	Although not traditional including a reply card means you are more likely to receive responses. Otherwise include an email address at the bottom with your RSVP details	Pencil a small number on the back so that if guests forget to write their names you can keep track of attendees.
Reception Card	If your reception is at a different location and you are inviting a smaller group to celebrate with you.	Another option is to have two different invitations printed. One with Reception details, one without.
Pew Card/ Reserved seating	These are given to those for whom special seating is reserved. For a smaller wedding your usher might perform this task.	This is a gracious way of ensuring your family members get the best seat in the house. Mark cards with “Pew Number ___” or “Within the Ribbon”.
Information Card	Only if you need to convey additional information. A necessity for an out of town wedding or a weekend long affair.	Consider including a map, directions, accommodation options, transportation info, baby-sitting arrangements, local attractions and even a schedule of activities.
Program	A nice keepsake but not necessary. However, if you expect guests to sing it is essential that you provide them with lyrics.	A useful place to explain traditions and to thank or remember loved ones.
Escort Cards	Use either these or seating cards. Escort cards are used to let guests know there table but allows them to seat themselves.	Consider using something different for your escort cards. Seashells, stones, silk flowers and votives all work well.
Seating Plan & Place Cards	Use either these or escort cards. A seating plan and seating cards let your guests know exactly where you would like them to sit. For smaller receptions you can forgo the cards and just use the seating plan in combination with table numbers.	Typesetting and calligraphy can be time consuming and therefore expensive. Ensure you provide your designer with guest’s details in the required format to cut down your costs.
Table Number	Required for receptions with more than a handful of tables.	Consider using a symbol or word for each table instead of a number.
Menu Card	Not Essential. The bride on a budget can forgo these or double up with place cards.	Frame a few for each serving station or table rather than one per guest.
Favour Tags	No, but pretty tags add a nice finishing touch and can also serve as place cards.	This is a great place to use stickers or a custom-made rubber stamp.
Thank-you Card	Absolutely essential, but doesn’t necessarily have to match the rest of your stationery.	If you are organised enough, having these printed with your other stationery will probably save you money.

Involvement on your Wedding Day!

Although the bride is the most important person on the day of the wedding, many other
people are involved at every stage of the planning. Some of these may not even
be acquainted and it is possible that friction may arise. Wedding etiquette
helps to smooth over these difficulties by defining the roles of each person
before and on the day of the wedding. Fortunately for parents blessed with
daughters, the modern trend is for the families of the bride and groom to share
the expenses involved in a wedding, so that the bride's parents are not
lumbered with the full amount. The following outlines the usual payment
arrangements, but do keep in mind that families need to be flexible.

Suggestions of accounts payable by whom:

• Brides Parents
  Wedding announcements in the press
  Invitations and stationery
  Photographer & videographer
  Brides and bridesmaids clothing & accessories
  Flowers for the church and reception
  Transport for the bride to the church
  The reception excluding drinks, barmen and related expenses
  The wedding cake
  Own outfits
  
• The Bride
  Wedding ring for the groom
  Hairdresser, cosmetician and manicurist
  Going away outfit
  Gift to bridegroom
  Gifts to those who helped with the wedding preparations
  
• The Groom
  Bride's engagement and wedding ring
  Legal expenses: anti-nuptial agreement etc
  Expenses of the ceremony: marriage officers fee, organist, choir, soloist, tips, etc
  The bride and bridesmaid's bouquets
  Buttonholes and corsages for the wedding party
  Groom and best man's outfit
  Gifts for bridesmaids, best man (and younger attendants)
  Gift to the bride
  Stag party
  Transport for himself and the bride from the church to the reception
  Drinks at the reception and related expenses (barmen, hiring of glasses etc)
  Accommodation on the wedding night & the honeymoon
  
• Attendants
  Best man and/or ushers host the bachelor party
  Maid of Honour and/or bridesmaids host a bridal shower and/or girls night out
  Best man and/or ushers should pay for the rental of their formalwear
  Maid of Honour and/or bridesmaids should pay their dresses & accessories
  
• Options to Share
  Bride or grooms family may offer heirloom rings
  Bride or her family may pay for bridesmaids dresses & accessories
  Groom or his family may pay for attendants rentals
  Bouquets may be purchased by the brides family
  Couple may cover all ceremony costs
  One family may pay for photography, the other for videography. The grooms parents or the couple may pay for any extra prints
  Grooms family may offer to share reception costs or cover specific services (liquor, musicians etc)
  Split the wedding costs equally among the wedding couple and both sets of parents
  Contributing families pledge whatever amount they would like/are able to contribute.
  The couple can then work within this budget, or cover additional expenses
  themselves
  

The other thing to be aware of:
Traditionally, the bride's family is considered the "hosts" of the wedding
reception, and the groom's family hosts the rehearsal dinner. If you are
breaking from this tradition, you may need to adjust accordingly, such as
including the groom's parents names on the invitation if they are contributing
significantly to the ceremony or reception costs.

Also, often when people are helping to pay for the party, they want to have
more influence over the planning. You must decide how much of your autonomy you
are willing to give up if the people financing your wedding are trying to take
it in a different direction than what you want.

You may need to have very clear conversations with all involved about what you
want, and where you are willing to compromise. If it comes down to receiving
the money only with strings attached, you may want to consider paring your
plans down to an event you can afford without their help.